Today I reached my goal of 30 yoga classes in 30 days. Yay
me! Actually, the hardest part was overcoming the guilt of spending precious
minutes not working, studying, and doing dishes, laundry or some other event
that will inevitably wait for me until the end of time. I can always
count on those old buddies to be there. But I carved the time out of each
day and did it! I feel pretty good.
So good, in fact, that I realized on my way to class this morning
(a mere 2 minute commute from my house) that it was a pretty powerful
experience. Now don't get me wrong, I am not transformed into some super flexible, incredibly enlightened, lithe, picture of health. But that was what was so
beautiful about it. I took my big butt into class and did it anyway. Humbled, I moaned and groaned through the twists and moved my spare tire out of
the way whenever possible.
Without trying, I seemed to have found myself living the white trash girl's
version of eat, pray, love. I suppose I ate my way through grad school. A
complete act of unconsciousness. It seems I could not focus on self care
during that time. I have lots of really good excuses for that but the bottom line points to a truth that has been expressed to me more than once: I constantly try and "fit 10 pounds of sugar into a 5 pound sack." And that's putting it nicely. Maybe it's because I have so much to do in this lifetime and I feel like I've hardly begun. Maybe I'm a late bloomer and I'm making up for lost time.
OR maybe I'm learning how to find a balance between caring for myself and caring for others.
This leads me to the "pray" section of my "quest." Doing 30 straight
days of yoga class isn't exactly a balance in my world. Every other day,
perhaps. At least until my boys are in college. But it was a great
jump start. It forced me to look inside, find some peace and stretch my
limits. Having a whole month as my goal gave me the luxury of allowing myself to breathe more slowly, take my time transitioning between poses, and find differences with each practice (all these things should be done ALL the time anyway). So
without really noticing, all of a sudden, my heart is open, my mind is open and
things started happening.
Good things ~ like having a conscious contact with a higher power and
with myself. I found a way to maintain balance and I notice when I fall off
the wagon so it's easier to get back on track. I found out what foods I really should avoid. I hear
myself hollering at my boys instead of just being consumed with my upset du jour.
Good stuff.
Then there's the love. Well, let me tell you I have found
some love. After taking my boys to do some volunteer work at the Outer
Banks SPCA something not so crazy happened. After 4 years of being
"dogless" we have added two new members to our family. At first
it was set up as a "foster" situation. An abandoned box of
puppies showed up at the shelter while we were there. What?! I know
what you are thinking....
"Of course they did, Dummy. Why do you
think they get you to volunteer?"
But it was a serendipitous
situation and I knew these dogs were meant for us before they even got carried
off the bed of the pick-up truck and into the shelter. Well, not all seven, but two little girls. Let it suffice to say that everything came
together: Vet bills and a crate taken care of by SPCA, supplies, fear of having two more mouths to feed, leaving
for an extended 5 day Thanksgiving vacay (remember my friend Steve and Steve's COG theory of inter-personal relationships? The perfect dogsitter!) And just look at them! Pure bliss. Dogs are the epitome of unconditional love. These pups are already part of the family and part of my newly open heart!

What beautiful thoughts Whit! Keep writing. Its certainly one of your gifts!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteSo cute, the dogs. Bill says them boys need responsibility. And come on for thanksgiving!
ReplyDelete